Friday, October 4, 2013

The invisible touch

I'm taking a break from working in the studio, but only to get inspired for the next round. In the meantime I'm enjoying work at the school and spending time with my children - creativity flows in so many other and new ways. At school I'm teaching a small group of girls the art of making journals, which is a concept strange to Denmark. I've shown them a lot of interesting ideas, which at first they seemed to find weird (they're only 14 yrs old), but now they're asking for the next workshop, because they'd like to continue working on this new thing... Thanks to Daisy Yellow, who made this a good idea for combining my own skills with collages and the diary aspect, but in a whole new setting.

On the sideline Phil Collins has taken the stage on my youtube-playlist. At first, because I find him funny and he makes me laugh, but slowly old stuff re-appears on my scope. Stuff from my childhood and early youth - things, that were perhaps meant to be forgotten, but are perhaps never supposed to leave your life entirely. They are aspects, which gives my creative output its true meaning. When I sell paintings it's not because they're pretty or beautiful, but because other people (strangers to me) are struck by a similar feeling. They seem to hit home in a way, I never thought possible. Wether it be in melancholy, sadness, one particularly striking event, loneliness in thoughts and emotions - the paintings that brought the most tears to my eyes in their original thought, are the ones that sell instantly. 

This is in my opinion a symptom of our time's temperament - are we moving too fast for our own good? Are we letting go, because it's simply too draining for us to get involved? Would we be happier to involve ourselves and follow through the chaotic events of our lives? 

Are my paintings (the dreary one) perhaps meant to become reminders of what should never be forgotten...?

On my list of things I'd like to forget (but won't ever) are:
Falling in love with my junior high school French teacher
Peeing my pants in public when I was 13 
My father hitting me as a child
The Cold War
Richard Simmons working out on TV
George Bush
George W. Bush
Fried liver
Being bullied for having a German father (not very good in Denmark)
Several break-ups with truly great men
Yelling at my children
Crawling home from a senior high school dance after someone slipped me a drug in my drink
My fat thighs
Newt Gingrich
Standing up for the well-being of my children way, way too late
Feeling guilty for being me and becoming invisible.......

Just remember - you will survive, whatever life throws at you. I am happier, better and stronger now. It just took all of the above to get me here.